


Booster Goldilocks and the Three Superheroes

by dizmo



Category: DCU
Genre: Fractured Fairy Tale, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Ill-Advised Scheming, Infiltrating Batman's Bedoom, Pairings If You Squint, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-02
Updated: 2009-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-02 16:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizmo/pseuds/dizmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone gets a little too adventurous for his own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Booster Goldilocks and the Three Superheroes

Once upon a time, there was fair and pretty young hero named Booster Goldilocks who was sometimes a little too adventurous for his own good.

One day, he went for a walk in the Watchtower. When he got to the cafeteria, he saw three cups of coffee. Booster Goldilocks decided he could definitely use the caffeine boost, so he went directly for them.

He first took a sip out of the big blue coffee mug. "Yow! This coffee is too hot!" he exclaimed.

He moved on and took a sip out of the silver coffee mug. "Eugh. This coffee is too cold. ... And I think it's decaf," he said, wrinkling his nose.

Finally, he took a sip from the black coffee mug. "Oo. This coffee is just right!" So he drank it all up.

After he was finished with the coffee, Booster Goldilocks headed down the hallway into the conference room. He saw three chairs sitting near the front of the room. He'd always kind of wondered what it would be like to sit in one of those chairs, so he headed over.

He sat in the first chair, but he shifted uncomfortably because the cushion was too hard.

He stood up and then sat in the second chair, but the cushion was kind of too squishy.

He then sat in the third chair, and the cushion was perfect, so he swung around a few times, pretending to scold himself in a dark and growly voice. Then the arm of the chair broke.

"Oops," said Booster Goldilocks, who then got up and swiftly exited the conference room, but not before trying futilely to make the arm look like it wasn't broken.

He headed further down the hallway to the temporary berths. He used his security override to enter the first room in the hallway and flopped thoughtfully onto the bed. Unfortunately, it was very uncomfortable, as if it hadn't ever been used.

He got up and left, using his security override to enter the second room. He flopped onto the bed, and sighed, because it was simply too small for him to sprawl just the way he liked.

He got up and left, and used his security override to enter the third room. He flopped onto the third bed and smiled, because it was perfectly broken in. In fact, he would have fallen asleep, even despite his caffeine buzz, if not for the fact that the room's occupant had apparently installed some security of his own, and he found himself hanging upside-down from the ceiling, trapped in some very strong cables he didn't even think a fully-powered Kryptonian would be able to break.

Booster Goldilocks tried calling for help, but there was nobody around to hear him.

At this point, three superheroes returned to the Watchtower from an emergency mission. They walked into the cafeteria and stopped.

Superman frowned. "Hey. Has someone been drinking from my _coffee_?" He looked vaguely repulsed.

Wonder Woman peered at her own cup. "It looks like someone's been drinking from _my_ coffee."

Batman leveled an intimidating glare at his cup. "Someone's been drinking from my coffee, _finished_ it, and is going to learn the meaning of the word pain."

On a search for the coffee-stealing culprit, they next entered the conference room.

Superman blinked. "Someone's been sitting in my chair."

Wonder Woman tilted her head a little. "Someone's also been sitting in my chair."

Batman was scrutinizing his chair. "Someone's been sitting in my chair, apparently mishandled it to the point at which it _broke_, and, judging from this strand of golden hair left on the seat, I know of a certain twenty-fifth century _idiot_ who is going to have some serious explaining to do."

The three superheroes stormed down the hallway, and continued the search.

Superman peered through the door of his room. "It looks like someone's been lying on my bed."

Wonder Woman opened the door of her room. "Someone's been lying on my bed."

Batman made a noise that was half-growl and half-chuckle under his breath. "If someone's been lying on my bed, he's gotten a very rude awakening."

With that, he opened the door and revealed Booster Goldilocks dangling from the ceiling with a sheepish smile on his face. "Hi, guys? Could you maybe let me down? This is a bit uncomfortable, and I think my toes are beginning to cramp."

Batman glared at Booster Goldilocks.

Wonder Woman was shaking her head.

There were no words to adequately describe the expression on Superman's face.

~~~

"And that's how it happened."

"_Really._"

"Totally."

"Okay, _assuming_ that's the truth, how on _earth_ would you know what they were saying without you around?"

"Okay. _That_ part might have been..."

"A lie?"

"Creative license."

"Ah."

"It made it sound good, didn't it?"

"Well, it made it sound _something_, that's for sure."

"I'm going to be nice and pretend that was a compliment."

"You do that, Michael. You do that."

"It was _basically_ right. Broad strokes, you know."

"So you actually broke into Batman's room."

"I wanted to see how the Big Three lived!"

"You actually. Broke. Into Batman's room."

"Well... yes."

"I'm amazed you're alive."

"You _know_ Bats doesn't kill."

"Yeah, but I don't want to _think_ of how many booby traps he probably has in there."

"... At least one?"

"Obviously."

"How was I supposed to know he'd booby-trapped his _bed_!"

"He's Batman. He's probably booby-trapped his _underwear drawer_."

"... That gives me an--"

"_No_."

"Awwww, _Ted_."

"Don't 'awww' me. Your 'awww' doesn't work on me anymore."

"It wouldn't involve breaking and entering?"

"What is it?"

"All you'd have to do--"

"_No_."

"What happened to your sense of adventure?"

"What are you doing right now?"

"... Scrubbing toilets?"

"I think my point has been made."

"Clean toilets are important!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"... Trust me. I'll find a way to convince you."

"With your normal convincing methods, it seems unlikely at the moment, given that you're _up to your elbows in toilet water_."

"Still. One of these days, you and I are going to be electronically surveying Batman's boxers."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"And we will all live happily ever after."


End file.
